About To Lose My @#%! 7

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The Hubby has been gone since April 30th. It is now June. JUNE.

That is a long ass time being home, with my two, oh screw it!, absolute demonic beings. That’s right. I went there. The past little while, they are ball busting bad. They are finding joy making my face turn red in anger and are down right driving me bonkers. Today, it is official. Mommy is D-O-N-E!!!!!

Generally, I don’t mind being alone with my kidlets. Half the time when we are home they aren’t too bad. Now, lately. I do not have any luck. Saturday, everyone decided it would be fun to drive me off the wall.

Sunday, at church they were absolutely horrendous to the point we walked out before Sunday school even had the opportunity to start. They found themselves grounded but by days end, they were right back to being brats.

Monday. Oh Monday. The blissful day of school residing. Loved my silence. Which came to an abrupt end when school let out. Our Monday ended up a massive house clean, thanks to Grama. I was of course exhausted, but it needed done and she is good at getting them to clean, and yes me as well.

Now today. Today is one for the books. Baby Girl has truly tested out every princess mode she has and added on a few new ones. It isn’t hard to tell what our evenings are going to be like when she walks out of the school. Somedays she’ll be all giddy, the next it is instant melt downs about, NOTHING! WeeMan on the other hand, he generally comes out with the same physic every day, tired.

Today, it was one of those days where she felt it was necessary to test me, and test me to the max. Suicidal? I think so.

When we got home it was instantly, put on bathing suits and get in the pool. Okay, great! Distraction. NOPE. It is loud voices, constantly bugging and telling me exactly what she’s doing every second. WeeMan, pulled his usual chicken self. His inability to be… how can I put this… a dare devil, is sad. He won’t do anything slightly scary. A bug comes near home. Oh my plug your ears cause he’s going to squeal. Same goes with jumping in the pool. Nope, that shiznatch is too scary. Here, let me just throw you in with all your floating apparatuses, beware you may fly away you got so many. It does frustrate me that he won’t just jump into the pool, when his little sister, half his size, will full blown belly flop into the pool, repeatedly. Never said she has any sense of pain.

Of course, the pool isn’t hot tub warm, so swimming doesn’t last long. WeeMan is already emotional because mean old Mommy made him go in the deep end. BabyGirl has of course been placed into time out for not listening, AGAIN. Pool time, destroyed. *face palm*

Let’s just get dressed!

OH NO!!!!!!!

This has to be a difficult task too for BabyGirl. Cause you know, you don’t get dressed on your own everyday. *bashes head into wall*

She decides it is the hardest thing to do. I decide I want to run into the wall and knock myself out. She is so smart, yet has no idea how to make a decision on her own. Drives me completely batty. It is frustrating knowing a child is beyond intelligent, but plays dumb so she doesn’t have to do something on her own. Instead of completely lashing out, I go back outside. She will figure it out, we hope.

She did, took about 15 minutes, but she made it.

Next, we enter into the lands of outdoor play. In our yard, we got a lot of things to do, but NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Let’s do exactly what we were told NOT to do. Again, are we trying to make Mommy lose her #$%!! Cause guess what, she has and HERE COMES GRAMA!!! (Yes, that is my biggest threat, she is my mother, she raised me and is just as scary as me, okay, scarier)

Okay, that activity has been put to an end. 5 minutes go by, oh let’s do it again? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Oh my! HERE COMES MOMMY, now three times as mad and 95% fed up.

Dinner. I detest dinner. Dinner is annoying. Dinner is something I wish was never invented. Why do I always have to cook?! I’m sick of cooking dinner. Oh, we are going to fuss at dinner. Lovely. I quickly finish and give them a timeframe to complete or no dessert. Success, dinner complete, in silence. That’s right, dinner time tonight involved zero, ZERO talking. I was done. BabyGirl got enough trouble in the time it took dinner to be cook that she was officially not allowed speaking. Good job.

WeeMan on the other hand, he was not in as much trouble, but he too was not allowed talking. It was a nice quiet dinner.

Dessert on the other hand. Seriously?! Why do I do nice things? We already have had such a bad few days, they didn’t deserve. But no. I have to put aside mean Mommy. Right?! I got conned. They again, did not listen. Were excessively loud, yelling, etc. Mommy has already hit her point. Desserts taken away and thrown out.

Yes, I threw out dessert. Yes I am mean. Do I care?! No. I am exhausted. I am fed up. I am ready to just lose my #$%*!!!! Oh that’s right, I have.

Bed time was simple. Both were already upset. Both wanted to just go to bed and not get in any more trouble. Both went to their rooms, upset they lost dessert, got pajama’s on, came and gave me hugs & kisses, and went to bed. Told you they are smart! They knew I was done, and went to their rooms before I 100% lost it. I was close, oh so close.

Okay, time to do my breathing. 1.2.3. BREATHE!!!!!

As you can see. I’ve hit that point. Time for Hubby to get home and rescue me. I know I’ll regret saying that, but I need a walk. I need no responsibilities for a day. I need to just not have to care about anyone but my iPad battery life. Soon. But not soon enough.

Off to my corner, to curl up and sway.


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7 thoughts on “About To Lose My @#%!

  • Ashley S

    Oh man!!! We’ve done the “Daddy’s Away” thing a few times for work and it’s exhausting for everyone. Here’s hoping when he gets home you get a much needed break and in the meantime I prescribe a trip to Starbucks, kids can’t be too annoying with dried apples (or a cookie) in their mouths, and Sbucks fixes EVERYTHING!

  • Aeryn Lynne

    Sorry your hubby isn’t there for the support, hoping he’s back soon for his fair share of the love/joy/punishment! You totally deserve a Mommy’s-Week-Out vacay! 🙂

  • Brandy @InsaneMamacita

    *Hugs* girlie! You are doing the best you can. We all have these days. It can be so frustrating. Try to find a little “me” time. I know, I am bad at it myself but you really do need to do something for yourself so you can come back a bit refreshed to tackle the next thing.

  • Lisa Marie

    It sounds like you are DEFINITELY ready for a break! Hold in there. you can do it! Can anyone come spell you off for a few hours just to refresh?

  • SoberJulie

    Ahhh yes the joys of motherhood when you have to do it alone. Suffice it to say I think children are created to give love, joy……and frustration. Chin up, you’re doing GREAT

  • Annie @ It's just my life...

    I can not imagine doing it alone for so long… kudos to you… we all go through times we want to change our Mommy name. Heck I am sure you will take no responsibility for a few hours at this point. I hope you get a break and soon!

  • Christine

    Ohhhhhhhh!!! HUGS!! We’ve all been there! I only have one child and though she’s a pretty good kid, she can drive me bonkers too. I sometimes have to lock myself in the bathroom for 2 minutes of time just for myself. Not really peace and quiet, but you know. Alone time.

    Thanks for posting this. It is so good to hear women/moms being open and honest about the stuff that really goes down behind closed doors. I honestly think we need to share these things to let others know they’re not alone and we really aren’t going to be committed to an institution. LOL! I feel that way sometimes! 😉 There’s always a breaking point somewhere!

    Deep breaths…