Goodbye Man Bits!

June 18, 2014By 2 Comments

That’s right, I am saying goodbye to man bits. Not mine! I don’t have any that I have yet to come across; well other than my manly personality and manners. Yesterday, I finally got Oscar Meyer Wiener neutered. I finally got to experience the joy of taking away a mans manly bits! I got to be the boss and take away his manhood! 

My Poor Little Bestfriendoscar meyer wiener

When you get your pet neutered, you experience a whole new level of emotion from your pet. Oscar definitely had my heart wrenching with his big beetie puppy eyes. The eyes. You just wanted to hold him and make the pain go away.

That is right, I felt guilty for taking away his manhood.

Not really, but I did feel bad for him. He never cries for me as we do spend everyday all day together, but he definitely cried when I dropped him off at the vets and he cried when I picked him up. His cries when I left were hardcore howls and when he first saw me at vet afterwards he gave me those heart wrenching, Mommy I hurt cries. HEART WRENCHING. (and yes I am his “mommy” and am one of those weird folks that consider him one of my children and refer to myself as Mommy. I feed him, wipe his arse when necessary. I am Mom)

He is the first dog I have ever had to get fixed, and the first time I have ever experienced the recovery. He is generally a lazy dog as is, but he is at a whole new level. It is awesome. Night time however, he whimpered all night. I say it is tears of sadness because he lost his manhood but in reality I know it is because he is just utterly uncomfortable. This also means I am running on zero sleep. Need a coffee IV today. 

For the next 2 weeks he is a conehead between 11pm – 6am. He is unable to walk or anything with his fancy cone on. He is literally 100% useless. He lucks out and I am home everyday, meaning wearing the cone constantly is not necessary. He sleeps beside me at my desk, and everywhere else I go. He even sleeps on the bathroom floor when I am showering. He is a stage 5 clinger to the max! 

He does try to lick himself, but since he was a pup I have trained him to not lick himself in the same room as me. It is gross. This is making things easier on him & I! He has a no lick command already. *high five* 

That is right, my dog is trained to not lick his special spots. IT IS GROSS. Private time only. 

He is still pretty out of it and just sleeps constantly. It is nice. We have our fingers crossed this will calm him down as he is very aggressive with men, yep. Men. He loved men. A lot. Foreigner had a little “special” activity happen when he was home last and well… I tinkled my pants a little laughing as it was amusing that my dog has decided he prefers men over women. Just means I have raised him to know I am the boss and I don’t do that! 

Yes, I am talking about getting my dog neutered today! Figured I hadn’t wrote about our daily adventures in awhile and I like my dog more than most things on the Earth even if he drives me bonkers. He even has inherited the nickname co-worker as he is always sitting with me while I work. My poochie is officially manhood free and I feel empowered!

Who’s next? XD

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  1. Erika E says:

    You did the right thing. He’ll get over it soon enough. More people need to be responsible and get their pets fixed.

  2. I know that I have to get my new puppy neutered soon. He is humping my other dogs and driving them crazy. Poor guy just wants to play.

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